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This was a terrible story to write. Awful. Do you have any idea how many impossible decisions there are to make when creating your ultimate European city? I agonised over these choices, and yet, I could present you with an entirely different selection for every single category and still be perfectly happy with the result.

Let's take a few steps back though. My task, which in a fit of madness I chose to accept, was to identify 10 traits that most great European cities tend to share, and then select the one place that excels most in that category.

So, the friendliest people. The best food. The best transport. The ideal waterway. And on and on.

This is an impossible task. How do you judge the bone-dry wit of the people of Glasgow, against the incredible warmth of the residents of Porto? How do you differentiate the beauty of the Neretva River in Mostar from the magnificence of the Danube gliding through Budapest?

The answer, of course, is with difficulty and trepidation.

Ultimately, I have made those decisions, and here I present to you my ultimate European city, a Frankenstein's monster of history and culture and beauty. It looks good to me. Though it could easily be entirely different.

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Valletta, Malta; Dublin, Ireland; Glasgow, Scotland; Porto, Portugal.

I know what you're thinking: Glasgow? Scary Glasgow? Is that even the friendliest city in Scotland? Is it even friendly at all? I'm here to tell you: yes, it is. Forget what you may have heard about the bad old days. Glasgow is a city of characters, affable and funny, the sort who will be your friend forever once you get to know them. Remember, this is the city that last year staged an impromptu street protest when Immigration Enforcement attempted to remove refugees from their Glasgow homes. And they succeeded. Like I said, friends forever.

There's plenty to love about Glasgow, though one of the best ways to meet its people in an organic surrounding is to enjoy its thriving live music scene. Check out a show at the iconic King Tut's Wah Wah Hut (kingtuts.co.uk) and you're on your way.

Be sure to check out the vastly improved dining scene when you visit Glasgow. Make Michelin-starred Unalome (unalomebygc.com) your first stop.

Glasgow is best between March and September. Emirates (emirates.com) flies from Sydney and Melbourne to Glasgow, via Dubai. See peoplemakeglasgow.com

Vienna, Austria; Prague, Czechia; London, UK; Paris, France.

The Austrian capital is something of a wonderland for architecture buffs, a gorgeous city filled with centuries-old Gothic and Baroque edifices, as well as modern facades. Of course, you will also find great examples of these in Prague, London and Paris. However, Vienna has several buildings that make it a stand-out, from the Gothic wonder of St Stephan's Cathedral, to the Baroque Schoenbrunn Palace, to architect Otto Wagner's many Art Nouveau structures.

For a snapshot of Vienna's architectural attractions, take a wander around the MuseumsQuartier, where you'll find a mix of Baroque and modern architecture as well as plenty of museums.

Combine the admiration of classical Viennese architecture with the admiration of delicious chocolate cake at the historic Hotel Sacher (sacher.com), home of the famous Sacher Torte.

As with any European city, Vienna is best, and busiest, in summer; shoulder seasons are ideal. Emirates (emirates.com) and Qatar (qatarairways.com) fly from Australian ports with one stop to Vienna. See austria.info

Paris, France; Bologna, Italy; San Sebastian, Spain; Copenhagen, Denmark.

This could conceivably have been any city in Italy, France or Spain, but the award has to go to the coastal Basque settlement that lives and breathes food, that boasts a phenomenal amount of Michelin stars per capita, and continues to influence dining scenes across the world. Whether you're eating local pintxos – Basque-style tapas – for a few euros a pop, or re-mortgaging the house to eat at three-star fine-diners, you will never fail to enjoy yourself in San Sebastian.

Though San Sebastian's Old Town is well known as a culinary hotspot, check out the neighbourhood of Gros, across the river, home to iconic local pinxtos bars such as Bodega Donostiarra, Bar Desy, Matalauva, Bar Ricardo, and Gerald's Bar.

Time your trip to coincide with cider season – January to late April – so you can visit Zapiain (zapiain.eus), a brilliant local ciderhouse, to eat classic dishes such as bacalao and char-grilled steak, washed down with local cider.

Summer is lovely, though cider season is also a great time to visit. Emirates (emirates.com) and Etihad (etihad.com) fly from Australia to Bilbao, with two stops, and a further bus connection to San Sebastian. See sansebastianturismoa.eus

Belgrade, Serbia; Berlin, Germany; Barcelona, Spain; Lisbon, Portugal

Here's the thing about Berlin nightlife: it caters to everyone. Everyone. It doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter how cool you are, and it doesn't matter what you're into, you will find a venue in Berlin in which you will feel comfortable and welcome. Belgrade has a wild party scene, Lisbon is lively and friendly, Barcelona has amazing bars – but there's nowhere quite like Berlin.

Berlin's most famous – and infamous – nightlife spot is the Berghain, a massive dance club set in a disused factory, a techno wonderland known for its decadence, and its strict door policy. Line up if you dare; there's every chance you'll be turned away.

You have to go niche at night in Berlin, even if it isn't your niche. Just to experience it. Find a dance club or a punk bar or a burlesque club or a plain old beer garden and sink yourself in.

Berlin rocks during the warmer months, though this is also a great city to spend New Year's Eve. Qatar (qatarairways.com) flies from Australian ports to Berlin, with one stop. See visitberlin.de

La Grand Place, Brussels, Belgium; Old Town Square, Prague, Czechia; Piazza del Campo, Siena, Italy; Rynek Glowny, Krakow, Poland

European cities all tend to have great squares (or piazzas, or plazas, or whatever they happen to be called). Most cultures are built around these communal meeting points, where kids play and neighbours chat and food and drink is consumed. Go to any city square and you will have fun. However, visit Rynek Glowny, in Krakow, Poland, and you will see something else entirely, an almost four-hectare space that dates back to the 13th century – making it the world's largest medieval marketplace – a lively area surrounded by historic buildings, the crowning glory of an already beautiful city.

Of course there's more to Krakow than the main square. Don't miss Wawel Castle, the 14th-century Gothic market Sukiennice, and the 13th-century Town Hall Tower.

There's a vast network of cellars underneath Rynek Glowny, many of which have been turned into pubs and restaurants. Chimera (chimera.com.pl) is one of the best of them.

Avoid the tourist hordes by visiting March to May or September to November. Emirates (emirates.com) flies from Australian ports to Krakow with one stop. See visitkrakow.com

Madrid, Spain; Paris, France; Zurich, Switzerland; London, UK.

Transport: it's not sexy, but it is important. Anyone who's found themselves trying to get from A to B in, say, Rome would be able to tell you that. So we have to think about cities that do it right, and of course the ever-efficient Swiss come to mind. Zurich is a model city for public transport, with a network of trains, trams, buses and boats that will get you where you need to be on time, in comfort, with the minimum of fuss.

Boats run on Lake Zurich from April to October, and given this is public transport, cruises are relatively cheap – you can do a "Mini lake cruise" for CHF6.80, or a little less than AU$10. See zsg.ch

If you're flying into or out of Zurich Airport, don't take a taxi. The train link-up from the airport to central Zurich takes 10 minutes, and costs about $10.

Be sure to hit Zurich in summer, from June to August. Swiss Airlines (swiss.com), in codeshare with Singapore, flies from Australian ports to Zurich. See zuerich.ch

London, UK; Paris, France; Berlin, Germany; Rome, Italy

You just can't go past Rome. London has incredible museums and galleries, Berlin has historic sites galore, Paris has icon after icon, but Rome? It truly is a living museum. Everywhere you turn there's something magnificent, something historic. There's the Colosseum, there's the Pantheon, there's the Baths of Caracalla, the Pyramid of Cestius, Teatro Marcello, Piazza Navona, and so, so much more.

Don't miss anything. It's so hard to prioritise in this city. Still, make time to wander through Isola Tiberina, an island in the River Tiber that's connected to the city by the Ponte Fabricio, built in 62BC, the oldest bridge in Rome.

The area around one of Rome's most popular attractions, the Pantheon, is a bit of a tourist trap, except for one historic and truly excellent restaurant: Armando al Pantheon (armandoalpantheon.it). Be sure to make a booking.

Avoid summer if possible – spring and autumn are lovely, but even winter is nice in Rome. Emirates (emirates.com) and Etihad (etihad.com) fly from Australian ports to Rome with one stop. See turismoroma.it

Mostar, Bosnia and Herzegovina; Amsterdam, Netherlands; Venice, Italy; Budapest, Hungary.

You have to love the canals of Venice, and those of Amsterdam too. You can glory in the sight of the Danube easing its way through Budapest. But how about spectacular Mostar, in Bosnia and Herzegovina, a city that huddles along the banks of the Neretva River. It's not just the waterway itself here but its setting, with steep wooded banks and clusters of medieval buildings. And don't forget the crowning glory, Stari Most, a gorgeous arched bridge built by the Ottomans in the 16th century.

That bridge is the focal point of the city, and deservedly so. There's a tradition in Mostar, dating back to the 1600s, of leaping from the bridge into the cool Neretva, 24 metres below. Brave (or foolhardy) visitors can do the jump, for 25 euros.

Rather than jump, instead settle in to a balcony table at Restoran Lagero (no website), which has amazing views of the bridge.

Mostar is very busy in mid-summer, though lovely in May, June and September. Emirates (emirates.com) flies from Australian ports to Sarajevo, with one stop – from there Mostar is two hours away by train. See turizam.mostar.ba

Krakow, Poland; Dubrovnik, Croatia; Tallinn, Estonia; Stockholm, Sweden.

It's a cliche now, but go on – picture yourself in Game of Thrones. Picture yourself in Kings Landing, the fictitious capital of George RR Martin's famous world. Got that image in your mind? OK, you're in Dubrovnik. Much of the lauded HBO TV series was shot in Dubrovnik's gorgeous Old Town, mostly because of how well preserved and restored this walled medieval settlement is. The Old Town is completely car-free, and though busy with tourists, it still has the power to transport you – to another time, or another world.

Though it's pricey, at about $50, to walk the city walls, this is an experience you have to have – the views both out over the water, and back in to the Old Town itself, are incredible.

Make the wall walk your first activity in Dubrovnik – it will reveal all of the Old Town's fascinating nooks and crannies, and show you where you want to explore next.

Dubrovnik is nuts in mid-summer – plan to visit in spring or autumn. Qatar (qatarairways.com) flies from Australian ports to Dubrovnik, via Doha and Zagreb. See visitdubrovnik.hr

Paris, France; Milan, Italy; London, UK; Lisbon, Portugal.

There are many fine, fine hotels to choose from across a range of price points in London, Milan and Paris. However, Lisbon really takes the cake with its mix of classic high-end luxury (the likes of the Valverde, a Relais et Chateaux hotel – valverdehotel.com), plus more affordable options with unique design and artistic flair (try Lisbon Art Stay – lisbonartstay.com). Even the youth hostels in the Portuguese capital are extremely high quality, particularly Home Lisbon (homelisbonhostel.com).

Even if you're not staying there, call in to Memmo Principe Real (memmohotels.com), a five-star boutique hotel, to experience its cocktail bar and restaurant, which is seriously cool.

Lisbon is a city of distinct neighbourhoods – choose to stay in trendy Bairro Alto, old-school Alfama, fancy Principe Real, or beautiful Belem.

Lisbon is great year-round – there's really no bad time to be here. Emirates (emirates.com) flies from Australian ports to Lisbon, via Dubai. See visitlisboa.com

Don't come at me saying "but there's good coffee in London". Of course there is. The trouble in London is that for every independent maker of delicious flat whites, you have approximately 50,000 chain stores churning out undrinkable swill to the masses. Look around for a place to get your caffeine fix and you know which one you're more likely to find.

Barcelona is undoubtedly one of the world's great cities, and unfortunately everyone knows it. Barcelona was blighted – pre-COVID at least – by over-tourism, by masses of people arriving to tramp through the Gothic Quarter, line up for the Sagrada Familia, take photos in the Boqueria market, and generally just get in everyone's way. It's hard to see how that won't happen again.

There's much to love about the Greek capital. This is the home of the Acropolis, not to mention a plethora of other historic sites, as well as a thriving food scene that's eminently affordable, as well as delicious. The main drama, however, in Athens? The traffic. This is one of Europe's most congested cities, and the sort of place where you want to leave plenty of time to get from A to B.

Keep your eyes up, about head height and above, and Rome is truly beautiful. All of those incredible historic sites, icons that are just there in front of you, waiting to be discovered in this living, breathing museum. Allow your gaze to drift down a little, however, and you will discover a major problem with garbage disposal and waste collection that has become so problematic, wild boars have begun returning to the city to sift through the debris.

San Sebastian: beautiful one day, raining the next. And the next. And the next. This is one gorgeous city with a lot going for it, however, San Sebastian, facing the stormy Bay of Biscay, is notorious for its inclement weather, especially outside of summer. The Basque city averages 138 rainy days a year, compared to, say, Lisbon, which has 112, and Seville, where it only rains 51 days a year.